Parenting a child with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) can be rewarding yet exhausting. While parenting any child is difficult, raising children with ASD comes with its own unique challenges—from handling meltdowns and coordinating Individualized Education Programs (IEPs) to implementing intervention strategies and working on behavioral goals, your role is 24/7. You may feel a constant pressure to provide care, which can affect your own health, especially if you are not taking care of yourself. Burnout is real; however, there are steps you can take to prioritize self-care while raising a child with ASD.
Signs of parental burnout
Taking care of a child with ASD or anyone who has special needs can leave you lacking patience, fatigued and guilt-ridden. Caregiving can tax your body and mind, and you may end up feeling burnt out – a phenomenon that has been studied and quantified. According to a 2023 report by AARP, nearly 40% of caregivers say they never or rarely relax and often feel alone.
Making time to take care of yourself (often referred to as “self-care”) and connect with others is important to your health as you care for your child. The first step to tackling burnout is recognizing that you are burnt out. Some warning signs may include:
- Anger or frustration toward your child
- Loss of fulfillment in parenting
- Emotional distancing from others, including your child
- Anxiety
- Depression
- Irritability
- Moodiness
- Sleeplessness
Make room for you
It’s important to take care of yourself while you raise your child. This can mean something as simple as asking for help. Ask a friend or relative to fill in for a few hours each week so you can spend time with friends, go to a workout class or make personal care appointments – just to name a few self-care activities.
If you have a partner, coordinate needed breaks for one another to recharge and do things for yourselves. You can also try to spend occasional time together to reconnect and allow yourselves a sense of self apart from being parents.
Making room for you also includes giving yourself grace and avoiding being too hard on yourself. It’s common for parents of children with ASD to experience stress, doubt and guilt. Celebrate small victories and progress. Embrace your child’s achievements rather than comparing them to neurotypical children.
Seek out community
Many advocacy groups exist to support ASD caregiving, such as the National Autism Association, the Autism Society, the Autistic Self Advocacy Network and more. Start a support group of your own or connect with other families that share similar experiences. Attend local meetups for parents of children with ASD to share challenges and build supportive relationships. Try joining an online forum or social media group to share advice, seek guidance and receive support.
One plan of action you can take is to seek out respite care resources in your state. Respite services allow primary caregivers to take a break away from providing care which help prevent burnout. ARCH National Respite Network shows contacts for state-specific respite programs across the country, which can be a starting point for seeking out respite services.
Being a parent comes with ups and downs, and parenting a child with ASD can bring additional challenges and stress. Take steps to prioritize your well-being and get support when you need it. This may include starting applied behavior analysis (ABA) therapy services for your child to help increase desirable behaviors while reducing risk behaviors. Contact your local Maxim Behavioral office for more information about the ABA services near you.
