If you’re the parent of a school-aged child with autism spectrum disorder (ASD), you may have noticed a level of resistance or avoidance to school that goes beyond typical school-related anxiety. School refusal describes the behavior and emotional state when a child becomes extremely upset or distressed about school to the extent that they cannot or will not attend. If left unaddressed, this reluctance can impact their education and affect their development. Fortunately, there are several effective ways to address school refusal and support your child’s success.
Reasons behind school refusal
While many children may experience school refusal, it is particularly prevalent in children with ASD. There are a variety of reasons why many children with ASD may perceive school as incredibly distressing and overwhelming.
Differences in social skills and information processing
Many children with ASD have trouble understanding or processing unspoken context in social situations and often lack the complex social skills that come naturally to others, leading to difficulty making friends. Further, many children with ASD take things literally and are likely to misunderstand instructions or classroom conversation. Sometimes, children with ASD may be perceived as rude or inappropriate, which can lead to criticism or even bullying from peers or adults.
Changes to their typical routine
While a school day is structured in its own way, it differs from a child’s routine at home. Many schools have their students switch classrooms throughout the day, and the transitions can be difficult for children with ASD. Also, children with ASD may struggle with organizing themselves and prioritizing tasks during a day at school.
Overstimulating environment
The overhead lights, loud chatter of classrooms throughout the school and conflicting stimuli can become very overstimulating for children with ASD. There may not be many opportunities throughout the day to take a true break or somewhere to go to self-soothe if needed.
How school refusal manifests in children with autism
When your child is experiencing school refusal, even talking about getting ready for school can cause distress. Children may hide under their bed covers, be unable to move, beg or plead not to go, have trouble sleeping the night before school or complain of feeling sick before school but feel better when allowed to stay home.
You may also notice stimming behaviors, such as rocking, spinning, hand flapping or meltdowns, as well as aggressive behavior. Your child might cry, throw tantrums, yell or scream, lock themselves in their room, refuse to move or threaten to hurt themselves. These behaviors might worsen when your child is going back to school at the start of a new school year, after the holidays or after a long period away from school.
How you, as a parent, can support
If you notice signs of school refusal in your child, it’s important to act early. Try the following strategies:
Dig deeper into how your child is feeling about school and what their experiences have been
- Is there a pattern? Are they trying to avoid a particular situation, lesson or person that is causing anxiety? Is your child being bullied, or are they misinterpreting someone’s actions as hostile?
Reach out to a member of staff at school who knows your child well and ask for insight
- The staff member may notice that signs of anxiety occur at school during certain times. If you begin to uncover the reasoning behind your child’s anxiety, share it with a trusted teacher or administrator at their school who can help you.
Stay in communication with your child about the problem
- Use visual supports if necessary. This can help you pinpoint the source of problems. Give your child a book to record their anxious feelings throughout the day. You may want to read the book together in the evening so you can help your child deal with any anxieties by giving them coping strategies.
Come up with a coded system to help your child monitor their emotions and reduce stress
- For example, visual stress scales like a traffic light can help.
Working with your child’s school
Once you’ve identified where some of the problem areas may be occurring, try working with the school to create support for your child. This may involve asking the school to make adjustments to accommodate your child’s needs once problem areas are identified. Some ideas for creating a supportive environment to combat school refusal include:
Stay in touch
Above all, stay in communication with your child’s teacher or school administrators as you identify specific issues. Work together to track your child’s progress, brainstorm ideas and solutions and revise as needed.
Peer support
Ask your school team about programs like peer mentoring or promoting awareness and acceptance of autism within the school.
Positive reinforcement
Celebrate small wins. Encouraging words and affirmations can help motivate your child to engage in school activities
